The dreaded words....

I hate hearing them. They're a sign of impending doom for me. Those dreaded words. It means minutes of agonizing searching, hours of living with those other words, "I told you so", and days of sly looks from my other half.

The words are " It's wherever you put it last". Let me explain. The words I say before this lethal sentence go something like this:

"have you seen my wallet (substitute keys / jacket / laptop / shoes / blank DVDs / phone / book ! )

To which the merciless response comes - " It's wherever you put it last". There is no known defence to this answer for the male brain, it leaves us hopelessly, utterly stumped. Floundering in a maze of my own making, I desperately try to retrace my steps, hoping against hope that I might somehow stumble upon the thing i've lost.

finally, I admit defeat. I come, meek and broken, back to her. "I can't find it. I've been looking for ages", I whimper.

She sighs, gets up and disappears. Seconds later she comes in and throws the thing I've spent what feels like an eternity looking for right at me. How did she do it!??! Suspicions enter my mind. She must have hidden it from me! Maybe she has some secret 'thing' finding device, and won't let me use it, ever. But it happens so often that i'm forced to admit that, no, she doesn't have any of those things. She just....knows. she always knows!